Just don't mention 'crash': The secret Apple Genius handbook that bans employees from saying words that will alarm customers

A secret training manual for reveals that Apple's 'geniuses' are banned from saying words that will alarm customers like 'crash' and 'bug' and they're schooled in watching body language to understand what they need to do to make a sale.

What the Genius Training Student Workbook teaches Apple employees goes far beyond the old adage of 'the customer is always right.'

The latest version of the book, which has been obtained by Gizmodo, details the ways workers are taught to act and speak when faced with patrons.

Best of the best? Apple is highly regarded for its customer service record

This isn't just technical training; it's human conditioning.

Whatever psychological judo Apple geniuses are taught seems to be working. Apple stores have the highest sales per square foot of any retail space in the country -- by a wide margin. 

And profits have increased five-fold in the past five years -- totaling more than $3.1billion last year. 

While there are rarely complaints about one’s experience at an Apple store, the employees are urged to exhibit much more than expertise and good customer service.

Record: While there are rarely complaints about one's experience at an Apple store, the employees are urged to exhibit much more than expertise and good customer service

In fact, the workbook includes a list of terms that Apple genius bar employees are forbidden to say to customers.

Among them are 'bug,' 'crash,' 'incompatible' and 'problem.'

Instead, terms like 'condition,' 'does not respond,' 'does not work' and 'issue' are preferable.

In fact, full chapters are dedicated to detecting their moods through body language, how to serve a customer through empathy and how to read their body language.

HOW TO SPEAK LIKE A GENIUS: APPLE'S GO-TO TERMS AND WORDS TO AVOID

Apple's Genius Training Student Workbook offers a list of words sales employees are never supposed to use -- either because they're bad for the pro-sales vibe or because Apple's legal department has deemed them liabilities. 

'Get to Yes by avoiding Negatives,' the handbook admonishes.

Here's a partial list: 

• Do not use bomb, crash or hang. Avoid freeze. Instead, use unexpectedly quits, does not respond, stops responding.
• Do not use bug or problem. Instead, say condition, issues or situation.
• Avoid supported. Replace it with compatible or works with.
• Steer clear of incompatible and not compatible. Try: does not work with.

According to Gizmodo, the Apple sales model is summed up in the letters that make up the company name: (A)pproach, (P)robe, (P)resent, (L)isten, (E)nd.

The manual lets its employees know that the company’s employees ‘deepens and restore relationships, help [customers] discover and enrich their lives.'

Any forceful behaviour on a salesperson’s part is strongly prohibited.

Another page in the book lists a number of body language actions, split into whether they are 'positive' or 'negative.'

Silent talking: The leaked handbook also details how Apple employees read customer body language during interactions

HOW GENIUSES JUDGE BODY LANGUAGE TO MAKE THE SALE

Among the physiological training Apple store employee receive is a crash-course in reading body language. 

Make not mistake: Apple employees are watching your every move for hints about how you're feeling and what they need to do to make the sale.

Cooperation: Sitting on edge of chair, hand-on-face gestures, unbuttoned coat, head tilted

Expectancy: Hand-rubbing, crossed fingers

Evaluation: Hand-to-cheek gestures, head tilted, stroking chin, gestures with glasses, pacing

Acceptance: Hand-to-chest, touching, moving in closer

Confidence: Steepling hands, hands joined at back

Frustration: Short breaths, 'Tsk!', tightly clenched hands, wringing hands, fist-like gestures, pointing index finger, palm to back of neck, kicking ground or imaginary object

Boredom: Drumming on table, head in hand, blank stare

Suspicion and secretiveness: Sideways glance, feet or body pointing towards the door, rubbing nose, rubbing eye

Nervousness: Clearing throat

For example, 'touching' and ‘moving in closer' indicate acceptance, while 'fist-like gestures' and 'pointing index finger' are listed as acts of frustration.

Another strange aspect of the training manual is the the section called 'Fearless Feedback.'

It encourages Apple store employees to critique each other on how well they're adhering to the rigorous Apple-speak and policies presented in Apple training. 

The manual provides several sample 'conversation' between two geniuses. 

'Hi, fellow Genius. I overheard your conversation with your customer during the last interaction and I have some feedback if you have a moment. Is this a good time?'

'Yes, this is a good time.'
'You did a great job resolving the customer's iPhone issue. I was concerned with how quickly you spoke to the customer. It seemed like you were rushing through the interaction, and the customer had additional questions.'

Former Apple store employees scoffed at the 'Fearless Feedback' section, saying it's proof that the company is trying to train its sales force to behave like empathetic robots.

'Fearless Feedback was really hated around the place. If someone had Fearless Feedback, we'd listen, but then afterwards I'd have this uncontrollable urge to punch them in the face,' one former genius told Gizmodo.

On its website, Apple calls the genius bar 'the best place to get support for Apple products.'

Apple believes its training for genius bar employees is so good, the company is using them to promote their products. 

A new series of commercials features an Apple genius helping to sold the world's technology-related problems with a cheerful smile and seemingly infinite knowledge.

Three commercials debuted during the London Olympic games. 

The ads seem to have backfired, though. Many viewers have called the genius character smug and slammed the company for painting customers and witless dolts. 

Versions of all three commercials posted on YouTube have received overwhelmingly negative votes.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2195050/Top-secret-Apple-Genius-handbook-revealed.html#ixzz3dDU1iitD
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